A to Z Challenge: Baa, Baa, Black Sheep

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“Baa, baa, Black Sheep, have you any wool?”

“First of all, there’s no need to say ‘baa’. I speak English, you know. And ‘baa’ doesn’t even mean anything. It’s just the sound you humans hear.”

“Oh, well…”

“And my name’s Billingsley.”

“What?”

“My name. It’s Billingsley.”

“Billingsley?”

“Billingsley.”

“Billingsley the Black Sheep?”

“I’m the only sheep here! What do you mean ‘black sheep’? I don’t call you ‘man that smells like stale cheese’, do I?”

“Well, I mean, that’d just be rude.”

“Change your diet then.”

“I – Look, I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to offend you, sh…err, Billingsley. I was just wondering if you had any wool.”

“I do, as a matter of fact. Three bags of it.”

“Great! May I have some?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“They’re taken. One bag’s for my master and the other’s for my dame.”

“Alright. I didn’t know you had a master. And a…dame? Do we even have any dames or dukes or whoever here?”

“My girlfriend. I call her my dame.”

“Oh. Is she a sheep too?”

“Goat.”

“Ah.”

“Why would I give her wool if she were a sheep?”

“I don’t know…”

“Is there anything else?”

“Err…I…yes! You’ve still got one bag left! Can’t I just have that?”

“No. That’s for the little boy who lives down the lane.”

“What little boy?”

“You wouldn’t know him. He lives all the way at the end of the lane. You probably haven’t seen him. I find it highly unlikely that your paths would have crossed.”

“And this little boy needs a whole bag of wool?”

“Yes.”

“Whatever for?”

“Look, I just sell wool. I don’t ask questions.”

“Of course.”

“Now if that’ll be all, I’ve got some deliveries to make.”

“Sigh. Alright then, she – Billingsley.”

“Goodbye.”

“Goodbye.”


 

“Moo, moo, brown cow, have you any – ”

“First of all, there’s no need to say ‘moo’. I speak English, you know…”

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